Yelling at children can lead to anxiety disorders-experts

Vivy's blog

By Vivian Agaba

Jennifer and Simon are married with three children, aged 7, 5 and 3- years respectively.

For lack of a better word, I will call them, the ‘screaming couple’. Both of them are always screaming at their children, no matter the time of the day, and many times, the shouting begins as early as 6:00am.

They yell and say abusive words to the children daily.

More often, they will refer to their children as stupid, use phrases like ‘look at your ugly face, big cheeks’ among others. And more often, they threaten to beat them or cut off their ears, lips among other body parts, if the children do not do what they have been told immediately.

Not a single day goes by without this couple…

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Learning through it all

The other day, she screamed at her brother for taking her toy. However, when he did the same today, she was distraught. Her argument was he was being unfair and unkind. It was time to teach her some morals – being kind. “Darling, why is it that your are very unhappy? Is there anything wrong with what he has done?” “Yes, mama,” she cried, “He has screamed at me.” Sitting her down, I asked why it was unkind yet she did the same the day before! Ashamed, she shied away. But I was not going to let her go without learning a thing or two. SO i went on to say that it is important to do to others what you desire them to do to you. “As a big sister, you are also a leader. He will replicate what he sees you do or what you do to him. SO, if you want him to treat you well, show him a good example.” Rolling her eyes, she shot back, “But how about when he is unkind?” “Then you do good by him because you are teaching him to be a better person and you are his role model.” Despite the tear stains, she smiled, “Yes maama, I will change for better.”

Use every opportunity to teach your children to be better. It is picking gems out of the rough.

Teach them to share

Eleanor loved all things beautiful, but also loved all for herself. Sharing seemed so foreign to her and being an only child exasperated matters.

It was ‘my toy’, ‘my dress’ that even sharing a cookie with her mother was taboo.

Such are some of the children we are raising yet hoping that the world will get fairer. How can it when we are raising a selfish generation? Children that are self entitled. It is such that will not want to work yet want to own a Range Rover. Aahhhh, won’t they kill you for that inheritance?

I may seem extreme but it is the reality. When you don’t teach them to share, let alone see the need to, they will feel all is theirs. And if they can’t have it, what next?

But it is never too late to turn the tide. You can intentionally turn the tide if you put some work into it.

Glossing over it

(Web picture) Use your authority in his life to better him rather than cause him a lifetime regret.

Yesterday, he shouted at the house help, and you said, “He is only a little boy.” Two days later, he shouted at her again as well as threw a plate that went into smithereens. While you didn’t like the loss, you told yourself he would change.

Ahhh now, which change are we looking at? For unless you mean degeneration, I don’t see any other. If it positive change, you must make an effort to achieve it.

I can guarantee you, unless you do something, which starts by acknowledging that children ought to be corrected and guided, 10 years down the road, he will be a detestable human being.

Nurture them into what will not make you weep tomorrow.

Lending a hand

(Web image)

A little help goes a long way. It is not a punishment to do chores or give a helping hand.

She carried my bag even when she should have been running to catch a bus.

She combed his hair for his finger had a cut.

He offered to mow the lawn to save them a few shillings that later made dinner more beautiful.

What are you willing to do, despite it being uncomfortable, just to make another smile?

The choice is ultimately yours but the joy will be shared.

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Stripped: Is my pain talking?

The Unveil

My ex, like every other guy I have dated before was classically handsome, and quite popular in his circles for his brilliance. He was kind, loving, caring and intentionally present during a season when I could feel myself drowning with no one to hold my hand. He was the nicest human. He took me out on nice expensive dates, bought me gifts, made me feel seen and wanted. He gave me money, just because, as Nairobians call it now, I was receiving girlfriend allowance lol. I mean, he was everything I needed in that season. At least for the time that we were together. But there was something different about him. I just couldn’t point it out.

One time we were out, at the time he was putting his finances together to start purchasing materials to build a house. He asked me what my 5-year plan was. I mean, I…

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